Good Times Roll // 0:18 – 0:25

Categories: Club D, never fucks, slut stories, Takeover Tales

Let the good times roll. Let them knock you around.” – Powerman 5000

Joe (the ultimate workaholic) managed to get out of work early the Friday the takeover started, I was honestly surprised he was so excited. We had haphazardly packed the biggest bag we had & filled our giant cooler the night before with everything we thought we’d need to have a good time: lube, condoms, costumes, booze, etc. When I think about it now, we had no idea what we were in for.

We showed up to the hotel around 3 or 4, found a place to park. The ocean of cars that we were told would show up hadn’t arrived yet – working within the shitty structure that is capitalism is the ultimate cock block sometimes & a lot of people were just getting off work.

We popped out of the car, grabbed out shit & started the process of unloading everything to the room. With Joe dragging the cooler & me struggling to hoist around our overnight bag which was bursting at the seams we wandered through the hallways knowing roughly where our friend Han had said the room was.

After a quick elevator ride to the second floor, the doors opened to a wall of humidity. Ahhh, the pool. I had totally forgotten half the fun to be had in this place: a whole goddamn indoor pool the size of a small house! 

We pushed through the wall of wet-hot that surrounded the pool & toted our shit through the hallways as we watched people set up their rooms. As much as I tried to hide it I’m sure my anxiety and excitement were plastered across my face as I walked by.

A dip down another back hallway, a couple more twists and turns with plenty to ogle as we wandered (a wall of dicks, naked people already prancing through the hallways, the usual as I would come to learn) & there we were, finally standing in front of the right room. We knocked & a sweaty Han opened the door looking less chill than I had ever seen him in the short time we’d been friends.

I looked around & used context clues to figure out what fuckery had occurred. Before I could even ask what was up, Leia & Han both chimed in to let us know the air conditioner had shit the bed & was being replaced. We set our shit down, I pulled out what I needed for the night’s festivities, made a drink,  plopped down on our designated bed to watch Leia make up her face for the evening as Han dipped in and out to check on the status of everything while the maintenance folks did their best to sort out our room’s climate.

Once we got our shit settled and with nothing more we could do to help remedy the AC situation, Joe & I decided to explore before the evenings festivities started. When we’d walked in, we noticed the potluck table had already started to fill up so of course that was our first visit.

There’s something else amazing about this club I’ve neglected to mention: we’re lucky enough to have some really fantastic cooks who frequent it. And while the spread was clearly just starting to be laid out and piled up, there were so many delicious options to choose from.


We made our plates & sat down by the pool area to people watch. I was amazed to see that the non-kink-related restaurant attached to this place had ZERO window coverings. I shoveled food in my face & I quietly wondered if anyone in there wasn’t in on the joke. I doubted it, but how funny would it be to go out to dinner with your nana & pop-pop only to see Mr. Bubbles & his fat horse cock confidently stroll by on the other side of some glass as you order your appetizers.

After we ate we decided it was probably a good idea to know exactly where the courtyard was since we both smoke like chimneys. We found a spot & sat down. I lit up my cigarette & looked around. Just like the club, there was always, ALWAYS entertainment to be seen if you bothered to look.

Before long I noticed what looked like off-brand Spock stumbling around & made the mistake of making eye contact. “Fuck it,” I thought “the night is young and may he’s not THAT fucked up. The courtyard is sorta lumpy…give him the benefit of the doubt.

I don’t think I’ll ever learn to stop doing that. It’s just in my nature to assume the best of people until they show me otherwise.


American Bitches // 0:00 – 0:13

Categories: Club D, first fuck, slut stories

“Raise your hand if you like American bitches, locked in girl on girl kisses. Well, I do.” – Bloodhound Gang

I sat next to the lanky, leather-coat-in-80-degree-heat clad human who had just introduced himself. Immediately and without my say-so my brain nicknamed him Chains. We made idle chit-chat until he got the gall up to ask in a shy voice if I was interested in playing.

Of course I was! He had gone a whole 15-20 minutes without saying something absolutely heinous and was pretty cute so obviously I wanted to see how he looked naked and inside of me.

We quickly took off to one of the play rooms and I’ll be honest, considering that as I write this now, this happened a year ago, the details are fogging. I probably bit the fuck out of him as I do with anything I like (or don’t) and he probably didn’t cum. The weirdest thing happens with a lot of people once we get back to the play rooms. Between the jumping lights, any variety of random song raging over the speakers & the sounds of other people fucking the night away, a lot of people get a bit nervous. Curse of the club I’ve heard it called.

What I do remember is that Mr. Chains fucked well enough to warrant a story & a repeat fucking if I got the chance.

Sure enough a couple weeks later I did & it did not go well for Chain. Or maybe it did consider he did get to be a fly on the way.

The theme that night had something to do with dressing up in Cosplay. There were any number of slutty superheroes & various other costumed perverts floating around the club & I spotted Chains as soon as I set my things down at our table & headed outside.

He quickly made his way over to me dressed as The Joker ala The Dark Knight and sat down, just like he had the time before and it became clear he was gonna ask me to play again. I had already sorta thought out how I’d like to go about things after testing out the play rooms and the dungeon was my next stop. I hadn’t really bothered to explore it the first real night we were there so I knew if Mr. Chains asked me to play, I was going to take the chance to drag him down there.

Sure enough, after both of us getting a few drinks into our systems he popped the question & I said sure. We headed inside and as luck would have it, all the playrooms were busy so it wasn’t even a question of where we were headed. I skipped down the stairs with him not far behind & spotted an empty queen sized bed in the corner the instant we walked into the room. Bathed in red light, I watched as bodies writhed, mounds of flesh moaning and merging with each other & smiled to myself.


The Cult of Dionysus // 0:35 – 0:42

Categories: Club D, slut stories

Wine and women and wonderful vices. Welcome to the cult of Dionysus.” – The Orion Experience

After our first dive into the club side of all this, we felt a bit more confident and comfortable with what to expect our second time around. The week theme? Cinco De Mayo. Being a Mayonnaise American myself, I decided I’d just wear whatever sluttiness I could squeeze myself into. It ended up being a shiny, short black dress with a deep v-cut to really highlight my massive cleavage.

Neither Joe nor myself was at all aware of how to start the night, I took my pre-mixed drinks (yay for BYOB) & found us a spot on the giant couch by the entryway to people watch. No one really took notice of us until a beautiful, dark haired woman we’ll refer to as Leia eventually found us. I didn’t know it at the time (even though I’m sure she told me as much), but she’s the unofficial (and at times unwilling) club social butterfly. She floats through the club looking both intimidating & inviting, like if one of those chatty flowers from Alice in Wonderland if it could kill you with a dusting of it’s petals. She made her introductions, welcomed us to the club & flittered away leaving my misanthropic ass a bit stunned and impressed.

I sucked down the last of my drink & ran out to the car to grab another. Put me naked in front of a crowd of paying people & I’m good. I turn on like a money activated doll. But I was quickly realizing this was a very different situation than what I was used to from being a SWer for a decade and change. I was nervous as hell and stunned when I realized: I actually wanted these people to like me. I, Fonda fuckin’ Dix actually wanted to make a good impression & show respect just based on what we’d seen so far. I wanted to be absorbed into this amazing group of people. This was the first demonstration of community I’d seen as an adult, albeit a very naked one and I was hooked.

After a bit of floating around inside with the pretty lights & pumping music, trying to find a place to chill as we people watched, we ended up on the patio for a smoke. A little awkward fumbling & squeezing past the crowd later & we found a picnic table. It was so beautiful outside & it seemed like most of the club goers were out here anyway, so we decided to make camp for the evening while we both scooped out the scene.

It was an amazing variety of people, some of who stood out a lot better than others – by design I’m sure. There’s Banana Hammock, the uber tan gentleman who seemed to own a thong for every possibly theme the club could throw his way. Han, Leia‘s dude, who was just as social and eye catching as his lady. The amount of variety from shapes to aesthetic this place had was like going to the Baskin Robin’s of flesh. By this point in the evening, I knew that I wanted to keep throwing what money we could at this place as long as they kept letting me in the doors.

While sitting there dazed by all the activity & naked bodies strutting around, I notice a shy, skinny figure staring at me so I stared back & smiled. Over walks a lanky, awkward-but-adorable looking human rocking a leather jacket, simple shirt & gold chains. He sat down & the first thing my brain could spit out at me was “how the fuck can he be comfortable in that thing? It’s like 75 degrees out still.” The second thing was “I’m probably gonna fuck this guy, aren’t I?